Aug 7, 2022
Six strapping young male virgins enroll in a mysterious, exclusive Bible college led by the intimidating Rev. Carmichael. His sect, the “Neurocystic Christianity Church”, preaches that advanced technology will bring the human race closer to God consciousness. His pièce de résistance is an electromagnetic confessional that doesn’t just forgive sins — it harvests soul energy for an insidious purpose. It’s a very ambitious exposition considering most of the film is just long shots of the boys writhing around in matching white designer underwear. This cinematic vision could only come from the mind of one man — director David DeCoteau, who has 177 directing credits to his name in genres such as gay softcore porn, straight softcore porn, kids’ movies, and Lifetime movies. The range! Here to help us try to make sense of the theological backbone of Neurocystic Christianity is none other than Trans Regret Snoopy, a regularly appearing guest of ours who really knows her scripture and usually does not go out of her way to watch smut.
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